Is She OK?

I'm definitely feeling my hormones being hi-jacked the past few weeks. I like to pride myself on being a pretty even-keel person. ESPECIALLY for a woman. Jason will even agree with me. I'm usually really laid back. Easy to please. Don't get upset easily. Pretty much drama-free. Ok, I will admit I have one weakness in this area though; when I'm tired I'm cranky. So with being tired while pregnant that crankiness has increased. But then I usually just go to bed and all is well.

Lately though, I've noticed my even-keeled(ness) has been not so even. There was one night I flipped from one emotion to the next like it was a deck of cards. Jason and I were watching "What Would You Do?"and the scenario was a teenage red-headed boy in a restaurant and there were other (jerkface) teenage boys picking on him. I've realized that's my hot button. People who bully other people for things they can't control. So of course I was choking back tears and felt like I had swallowed a pear whole. Then Jason (mostly just to get to me) started to make comments about how the kid deserved it, he would kick him too, and how it would just toughen the kid up. I went from heartbroken, to breaking bones. This happened about 126,356,938 times in the hour duration of the show. But not for a second did I let it show on my face or let Jason know it. Because I knew it was all irrational and all babymotions. So aat the end of the show, I kissed my husband goodnight, went behind closed doors and cried to the Lord for my emotions I couldn't control. But, as ridiculous as this sounds...it gets better. (or worse)

This next scenario has happened to me twice since being pregnant. How many times has this happened in my life before pregnancy you ask? Let me answer that question. I think three times in all 2(cough)8 years. This past weekend I had some of my closest girls over for a little girls night in. We were playing a game where you make up scenarios to a certain question. The question was "What should not be lumpy?" Well I thought of one of my friends most unfavorite word...and before I even wrote it, I started laughing at how angry she was going to be when my card was read. And that laughing was uncontrollable. And it turned into outright crying. And I'm not talking a couple tears and some sobs...I'm talking crying that involved rivers of tears cascading down my face. Then laughing. Then crying. And I COULD. NOT. STOP. IT.  As funny as that was, it was almost even funnier watching the faces of the girls that completed the circle around me. Their faces went from amused every time I laughed, to genuinely concerned every time I cried, to amused, to concerned. Which of course made me laugh/cry even harder. Oh man, the wonderful joys of pregnant emotions.

L, Is For The Way You Look, At Me

Ok, Ladies. (guys you know it's not for you) What is one of the greatest gifts you could receive for Valentine's Day? Chocolate? Roses? Diamonds? Ive gotten all of those for this unnecessary holiday before. And I can tell you, all of these are so overrated compared to hearing your baby's heartbeat for the very first time. That's right. 173 beats per minute of pure bliss. We had our second ultrasound on Valentine's Day and heard the most beautiful sound. The tears definitely appeared in I think both Jason and I's eyes. And here's a picture of out lil guy. (ok fine or girl)

And the only thing that made it an even more perfect moment was that the most amazing man I've ever known was right beside me. He's been so wonderful throughout this entire process. I know the process hasn't been that long yet, but he's supported me every step of the way and I know will continue to do so for the rest of our lives together raising our child(ren) from infancy to adult and all the learning years in between.

Here's a rundown of the symptoms and the effect (or affect I always get confused on those) they have on me.  This is what Jason has had to put up with for the past 9 weeks...

• nausea - deep breaths, nothing sounds good to eat, quiet, don't move much, sleep
• vomiting - eww, just eww, and sleep
• headaches - don't move much, quiet, sleep
• dizziness - nauseated, car sick, don't move much
• smells - i smell EVERYTHING, and most make me nauseated
• leg cramps - restless sleep, irritability
• vivid (a.k.a. weird) dreams - confused, restless sleep
• trouble sleeping - tired, irritated
• emotional - I'm usually very even keeled, i've already found myself crying at things that are so stupid and simple
• bloating - uncomfortable, sit on the couch with my pants and zipper undone
• bra bloating - walk in the door, bra goes off, running is not fun
• frequent urination - irritated, uncomfortable, no jumping 
• food cravings/aversions - i used to love veggies! not so much now, the more substance and grease a food has the better,  mashed potatoes and gravy are oh so delic,oooooh and sherbet ice cream! yummy! I might get a bowl right now...
• gaseous - can anyone say covered wagon? a.k.a dutch oven? poor Jason...
• bleeding gums - yep, almost every morning. I know weird
• heartburn - even though this baby is 1/4 Mexican, it doesn't like spicy food as much as it's Mommy. 
• fatigue - tired, tired, tired ALL-THE-TIME, permanent zombie-like state

This has been me every evening for the last 9 weeks...

With all of the "negative" symptoms, one feeling wipes them all away. Four simple letters. LOVE. LOVE for my Father who has seem me as worthy to be this child's mommy. LOVE for my husband whom is already the best partner and best friend and is going to be the greatest father on earth. LOVE for my mom (and dad) for all the sacrifices they went through raising me. And LOVE for this child that is only the size of a olive right now. (yuck, I hate olives) I look forward to meeting God's idea of the perfect combination of Jason and I in about 31 weeks, give or take a couple. 

You know I've always known what a miracle pregnancy and childbirth was. But I didn't really have a clear grasp on it until now. I am in awe of how God has created the woman perfectly to grow, protect, and nurture a baby. And how God has created man and woman to get the process started. He has all of the power in the world to do it on His own (see the story of Mary) and yet His way is for man and woman to be united in His name, and then create, grow, love and cherish their children. Again, for one reason. Because He loves us and wants to see us enjoy good things. And he does afterall command us this in Genesis 9:7: "As for you, be fruitful and increase in number; multiply on the earth and increase upon it." Jason and I are simply obeying :-)

Calling Dinosaurs

I've been nauseous for a few weeks now, but the last few days I've graduated from nausea to true morning sickness. Only the name doesn't fit the crime, because I'm not only sick in the morning, but in the afternoon, and in the evening. At least not in the middle of the night, right? Probably cause I'm so darn tired to even think about it. So I've been enjoying stacks of saltine crackers and bottles of ginger ale. It's actually the first time I've tried ginger ale. I thought it would taste gross, but actually it tastes like a really good combo of 7-up and sprite. Yummmmmmy. Really, I don't have it as bad as some women do, and it's not every day either. So I'm thanking God for that and also thanking God that I'm halfway through the first trimester. We have another ultrasound on the 14th. I can't think of a better way to celebrate Valentine's day and the extravagant love I have for my husband than hearing the heartbeat of our child. I'm so excited!!!
                          

Speaking of extravagant love for my husband, he's so incredibly wonderful. I really can't even describe how great of a husband and best friend he is to me. Being married to him is even better than I imagined. And I had high expectations!! He cooks me dinner when I'm too sick or tired, he puts up with me being tired and going to bed early and taking so many naps (usually by playing Call of Duty), he snuggles with me on the couch when I'm too exhausted to move, he makes runs to the store for me when I don't feel good or have a food craving, he rubs my feet, AND he brought me roses for no reason :-) I really love him so much.



Even though I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired, it's sooooooo worth it. I would go through it every day for all nine months if it meant I get to see God's idea of a perfect combination of Jason and I. But.....I've heard the second trimester is better. Bring it on :-)