Sacrifice

Sorry it's been a minute since I've blogged. I've been trying to get through the wretched first semester (I mean trimester - I have school on the brain) of pregnancy that still consists of fatigue, nausea, and vomiting with bouts of body aches, fever, and flu. Yep. It's been a whopper of a trimester. I keep thinking "It's worth it, it's worth it. In 6 months when you hold your little miracle it will be worth it." 97% of the time I remember that and believe that to the core. The other 3% of the time, I want to skip the whole pregnancy thing and jump right to the little miracle thing.

The bible says to not complain, so I've tried really hard not to...at least not outloud. But one night I had "had it up to here". Picture hand to the top of my head. So I went to Jason and complained. For only about three minutes. I complained about being tired. I complained about being nauseous. I complained about throwing up. I complained about my kids at school who are sucking the life and energy out of me, not to mention testing my every living ounce of patience. I complained about no matter how tired I am, I can't get a good nights sleep to save my life. I complained about always being hungry but nothing sounding good. I complained about wanting to maintain a consistent workout plan but being too sick or tired to do more than about two days a week. I was so over it.

Ok, so maybe the complaining was more like five minutes :-)  And God bless him, Jason listened to it all, and encouraged me. He said the difference between complaining and expressing your feelings is the posture of your heart. The truth is, if I had to endure the worst symptoms every day of the full nine months but it meant a perfect happy baby, I would do it in a heartbeat. But, it would make me second think wanting those 3-5 kids. So I guess I wasn't complaining, I was expressing.

So with all of this, I asked God: "Why 9 months? Why 40 weeks? Why not like two months total?" If that were the case, count me in. Here are some of the answers the Father of all children told me...

• God so much enjoys and takes great joy in every second, every detail, every intimate & painstaking process of knitting together each baby in the secret place of their mother's womb. 
• Jesus made the sacrifice by giving His life so we can all have eternal life. The least I can do is sacrifice for the life of my unborn child. 
• God takes joy is watching the development of life. This is in the new life of a child in the womb, and also in new life when one of His children give their hearts to Him. Heavens rejoice when both of these happen. 
• 40 is a number of sacrifice and new life. Rain fell on the earth for 40 days with Noah. The Lord made Israel wander in the desert for 40 years. After Jesus was tempted by the devil in the desert, he fasted for 40 days and 40 nights. 40 weeks is how long a woman sacrifices her body, her favorite foods, her sleep, her energy, and her health. But just like the Israelites, Noah, and Jesus, I know the Lord is with me, giving me strength, seeing me through until he reveals to me the purpose of my sacrifice. 

Oh, and what would a blog be without a picture of our lil one? Duh. This is baby McGee at 12 weeks and 3 days. The ultrasound tech took a guess and said she thought it is a girl. I immediately drifted into the land of all the cute little pink clothes, tights, and tutu's....oh the fun of girls. But at this point it's only a guess. At 20 weeks it will be a better estimate. But we wont' know 100% until he/she enters this world. But here she/he is....pretty cute huh? :-) My 5 year old niece Jaidyn thinks it looks like a duck. Guess I can see it.